A Weird Break-up

So it finally happened.  Between the time of my last post and this one, I experienced my first relationship ever.  It lasted about 5 months.  For my first boyfriend, J was wonderful.  He treated me right, respected my values, and made me feel so special.  And he was adorable.  In the end, I just decided I was more in love with the relationship than with J himself.

Breaking up with him was one of the hardest conversations I have probably ever had, and it involved a lot of crying on his futon and struggling to get the words out.  You see, I didn't have any silly reasons to blame it on.  I'm serious when I say he did nothing wrong for me to want to end it.  And I wanted to be completely honest with him.  So I told him that I just never saw us lasting forever and that the feelings really weren't there, at least for me.  And we talked it out, and I cried some more, and then I had to run off to a meeting.  And that was that.

But we decided we wanted to stay friends, and not like the "We can still be friends, right?" line that many people use during breakups.  Like, I still want him in my life.  He's an awesome person, and I want him to be happy, and I know there's someone out there that will love him as much as he loved me.  That person just isn't me.  There's no reason I should have to completely cut him out of my life though, right?

Well, that's what I was hoping, and we gave each other some space for a bit.  Then we went back to our daily workout together.  I started eating dinner with him and his roommates again.  It wasn't too weird.  And then he started telling me about this girl that he had a date with.  And at this point he's gone on 3 dates with her.  The first time he mentioned it he was like, "I know people typically don't tell their exes this, but they tell their friends, and you're my friend, so…" and he proceeded to talk about how wonderful and amazing this new girl was.

Like I said, I really want him to be happy, but it's also only been 3 weeks since we ended our 5 month relationship.  Hearing him talk about this girl kills me.  I am so sad because I was always the girl that he said was so wonderful and amazing.  I thought I would move on easily since it was me deciding to end the relationship.  I figured he would take longer to come around and want to be friends.  Boy, was I completely wrong.  Here I am, happy to not be misleading him in a relationship I didn't feel right in, but sad thinking that this guy, the first guy who ever thought twice about me, who was so in love that I felt terrible breaking his heart, has already completely moved on.

Maybe it's cocky of me to think that he should still be hung up on me.  Maybe I completely misread the signs and he wasn't as into our relationship as I thought.  Maybe it was a mistake to stay friends and have this constant reminder of what once was.  Maybe I have over thought everything.  All I know is that I am a heartbroken girl, like many others before me, and I'm waiting for the day that I will truly feel okay.  I want to be friends with J, really.  But maybe not today.

How to Pass a College Class

Today's Fun Fact:  I worked at a movie theater one summer and I absolutely loved it!

Disclaimer:  This is how to pass a college class, not necessarily ace it...

1.  Go to class.  This should be common sense, but my 300-person lectures normally only have about 100 people in them.  You have to learn the material at some point, so you may as well learn it in class from a professor!  You scheduled the class times, so you really shouldn't have anything better to do…

2.  Sleep.  At night.  One reason people skip class is because they stay up late doing who knows what and use class time to catch up on sleep.  Then you stay up late trying to catch up of things you missed while you were sleeping!  When you're in college, attending class is like your job.  Eventually, all those missed lectures will get you fired in the form of an "F".

3.  Have friends.  Yes, you need friends for social reasons, but friends in your major are also valuable for study sessions, homework help, moral support, catching you up on missed material when you skip class against my advice, and countless other things.

4.  Turn off your phone.  Or *gasp* leave it at home during lecture.  Today's phones are colossal distractions.  One minute you're half-heartedly writing notes on nitrogen fixation, the next you're playing Candy Crush while simultaneously stalking celebs on Twitter.  Turning your phone completely off will take away so many temptations and help you focus on what your professor is saying.

5.  Buy index cards.  Regardless of course or major or topic or difficulty, you can make some sort of flash cards to help you study.  Using flashcards is a type of self testing method, and testing yourself is way more effective than mindlessly rereading your notes for the millionth time.  It makes you have to recall the information, which is exactly what you'll have to do on an actual exam.

6.  Get a planner.  Find a pretty one, fill it out, and treat that thing like it's your child.  You're in college now, you are an adult, so professors aren't going to remind you of every homework due date or exam time.  They give you this magical thing called a syllabus, and it's your job to keep all your classes straight and schedule out your semester.

7.  Think positively.  It may sound cheesy, but if you go in with a positive mindset thinking that you will succeed, you will be motivated to follow through and do what you need to do in order to actually be successful.  If nothing else, heyyy, it's only one F, right?

____________________

These things have improved my semester dramatically, and if you have any other tips, please let me know in the comments.  Lord knows I can always use the help...  And if you found this list helpful, share it with your friends and we can all pass our classes and be awesome together!

Best of luck,
Shelly

Why Books Are Amazing

Today's Fun Fact:  I own lots of purple stuff.

I recently returned from my spring break.  It was pretty chill, not having to worry about exams or projects or anything.  That meant I had plenty of time for one of my favorite activities: binging on books!  I finally got through Anna Karenina, which I've been working on since November.  Then I read the amazing words of John Green in The Fault In Our Stars.  It was a fabulous way to spend spring break.

You see, I'm a person who can sit for hours on end reading a book.  I take a book or two along on every road trip.  If I can't find a new book to read, I’ll reread one of my favorites for the umpteenth time.  Most of my friends also enjoy reading, but I do have a few friends that don't understand my love for novels.  So, I have compiled a list of why I think books (specifically fiction novels) are amazing!


Books let you experience someone else's story.  I love escaping into the storybook world, immersing myself in the lives of the characters.  George R. R. Martin wrote in his book A Dance with Dragons, “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.  The man who never reads lives only one.”  I have fought for my survival on television, fallen hard for Mr. Darcy, helped an alien escape persecution, found a golden ring, destroyed a dark wizard, and lost a lover to cancer.  The list can go on forever.  

Books provide knowledge.  Yes, encyclopedias and history books are informative, but even pleasant 19th century British romance novels can teach you something.  I've learned quite a lot about past cultures and customs from all the classics I've been reading lately, like Emma by Jane Austen.  Character interactions with one another, their daily tasks, their figures of speech, all of these things were very ordinary when Austen wrote them.  But for me reading it 200 years later, I find it all very fascinating.  Reading a story is far more interesting than learning about the daily life of a 1800's middle class woman from a textbook.  

Books are inspirational.  One of my favorite authors from my teen years (and still!) is Ally Carter, author of the Gallagher Girls series.  In this series, the characters attend a boarding school that trains them for the CIA.  These books sparked my interest in the CIA and other intelligence agencies, and I briefly even looked into how one becomes a CIA agent.  I mean, I'm not pursuing a career in the CIA (and if I was... I would have to kill you), but it did make me think about my future and what I wanted to do with my life.  


Books beg for discussion.  When you're having a conversation, one person says something and others join the conversation by discussing what that one person brought up.  Well, when you read a novel, that's hundreds of pages of something said by someone!  That leaves so much to talk about!  This can be literary analysis, like the character development Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame, or social commentary in books like Divergent and The Hunger Games.  Realistic fiction like The Fault In Our Stars or The Perks of Being a Wallflower can open up discussions about your personal life experiences.  I love reading books, but I also love talking about the books I've read with others.


Books always have something to offer.  I firmly believe that I have gained something from every book I've read, whether or not I liked the book.  Take for instance J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.  This trilogy is hugely popular and it's a magical fantasy adventure… but I didn't really enjoy it.  It's just not my kind of book.  However, I gained a huge appreciation for the author who came up with this whole world and history and language and everything.  That's just awesome.  Another book that I can't rave about is Anna Karenina.  It was just another book on my list of famous classic books to read, and I didn't love it.  But it was very thought-provoking.  There were many philosophical passages that made me think about things like faith and morality.  I definitely gained some insight to my own beliefs.  I finish every book that I start and I never regret reading a book, even if it wasn't my favorite.   

I can go on forever about why books are amazing and fantastic and wonderful, but for now I'll call it a day.  Do you agree with my list?  What's your favorite book?  Let me know, because I'm in need of something new to read!  

Happy reading,

Shelly

The Meaning of Success

Today's Fun Fact:  I hate pickles.

It has been an excruciatingly long Monday.  The day started off with my alarm not going off.  I couldn't find any clothes to wear because I still hadn't done laundry.  Then I got a blister on my way to class (Darn you, cute shoes).  I ended up skipping two classes to make up for my missed study time in the morning.  And lastly I went to the exam I had been dreading all weekend and completely failed it.  As in, I think I maybe got a 15%.    

Yet I am feeling quite proud of myself right now.  I was stressed all day about that exam, and now I'm just glad it's over.  I mean, I survived the day.  I had some nice conversations with friends, made some musical progress in my orchestra rehearsal, and got done with the exam before the dining court closed for dinner.  Sure, it may not sound like much, but I'd consider today a success.  

Success is different to everyone.  When asked to define success, I'd say most people would give an answer involving monetary or career achievements.  Sure, these are types of success, and they're somewhat quantifiable.  Being able to afford that new Porsche shows that you have monetary success.  That new promotion illustrates career success.  And these things are important.  But I think that what really matters is what isn't measurable.  

I want to live a successful life.  That's hard to define, but I feel like today has really opened my eyes to the concept.  It wasn't a perfect day by far.  But it also wasn't wasted.  I grew in my relationships, I learned new things, I met someone new.  I moved forward.  And looking back on today, I realized it really was a good day.  This is what I want to feel like every day!  

Now, I'm totally not dissing success in work or school or anything like that.  My idea of success is moving forward every day, which leaves room for growth in nearly all aspects of my life.  This includes my education (and study habits!) and career once I'm out of school.  But once again, those things aren't the only things that matter.  I challenge you to find success in the unexpected places in your life, like I did today when I made a new friend.  It may just be making it through a tough day.  After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!  Today's small victories can lead to great achievements in the future.  

I wrote a post similar to this on Motivation.  Check it out, and share these with someone who may be struggling to find success in their lives.  

Also, "One of Those Days" by Joy Williams perfectly describes my day today, not just the lyrics but the happy tune as well.  So, I thought I'd share this excellent song with you! :)   Click here to watch the video!

Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a fabulous day :)

Shelly

P.S.  I got a twitter!  Follow me here!

I'm Stressed.

Today's Fun Fact:  I can speak German!

Is it just me, or do students just have way too much to worry about?  I mean, we have to keep track of classes and exams, volunteer hours, club participation, internships, friendships and social lives.  There's also the daunting thought of what will happen once we graduate.  The real world.  I'm totally not ready for that yet.  Once I leave college, I have to wear real pants.  No more sweats, seriously?  The struggle is real.  But honestly.  We go to class, work hard, and aim for our degrees, but we are still completely clueless as to what is in store for us in the future.  

And mostly, there's the daily stresses.  I feel as though I'm pretty organized and my planner is my lifeline, but it also gives me anxiety just looking at the color-coded activities and everything I have to do just this week.  

Monday- study session.  
Tuesday- quiz, club meeting, social activity.  
Wednesday- crucially important interview that my future depends on, club meeting.
Thursday- two quizzes, evening exam.  
Friday- two quizzes.

And classes on top of all of that.  I don't want to deal with it!  I want to become a blanket burrito and sleep the week away.  Yeah, sleep is probably my favorite stress reliever.  However, even though sleep is fabulous, it will not make all of my responsibilities go away.  I have to face them.

But I think I deserve some relaxation throughout the week.  Some things I plan on doing to get through this crazy week of interviews and exams are:

• Having random dance parties in my dorm room
• Writing my thoughts (blogging!)
• Getting ice cream with my friends
• Reading a lighthearted novel
• Cleaning (I can't stand working in a messy space!)
• Sleeping 

I believe that I can make it through the week.  And hopefully you'll use some of these to chill out as well!  

Life may seem crazy at times, but it's also wonderful.  Life is too short to be stressed all the time.  I'm a big believer in doing whatever you need to do in order to be happy.  If you are miserable at school or in your job, find something that brings joy to your day.  For instance, I couldn't make it through exams without midnight milkshakes with my BFF to look forward to.  Cramming late at night is actually fun if I study while head banging to Fall Out Boy.  Are you bored in your extracurricular?  Try something new, just to see if you like it! You never know.  

Aaaannnnd, that was a very rambling post.  But at least writing this helped me de-stress a little.  Hope your week is relaxing and enjoyable!  

Now, back to studying and interview prep…. or random dance parties.   

Till next time,

Shelly

Motivation

Today's fun fact:  I have an extremely wide taste in music, ranging from Panic! at the Disco to Nora Jones.  Country, dub step, classic rock, boy bands?  Love it all.  

Motivation: The drive to do something.  It's a funny thing.  I tend to think I lack motivation, but normally I get everything done that is required of me.  Schoolwork, various organization assignments, laundry?  I'm all over it.  Sadly, anything past that is really a challenge.  Instead of practicing violin or trudging onward in Anna Karenina, which I WANT to do, I end up sitting on Youtube or Facebook for hours on end.  I enjoy the mindless internet browsing while it's happening, but afterwords I'm just mad at myself for not being productive or interesting. 

Ironically enough, a Youtube video actually inspired this post.  I was watching "How to Get Out of Bed" (link below) by self-proclaimed lazy person Dan Howell, also known as Danisnotonfire.  This video, along with several other videos of his, really got me thinking about why I get up in the morning and what I plan to do with my day.  I mean, I go to class and eat and chat with my friends and such, but these things really aren't that interesting.  I want to continue to improve my musical abilities, and meet new people, and experience new things!  What do I get up in the morning for?  Class?  Sure.  But life is short, and each day matters.  There is more to life than going to class and studying (I sure hope).

Turns out I just need something to motivate me to start my day.  So, I've decided to make daily goals that make getting out of bed more worthwhile.  Nothing too big or crazy like skydiving or running a marathon (yet!).  More like:

• Have a conversation with a new person.
• Contact my German relatives.
• Find a new piano piece to learn. 
• Begin learning said piano piece.
• Read The Fault in Our Stars.  (I'm so behind the times, I know.)
• Try a new machine at the gym. (I love my stationary bike…)
• Plan a weekend road trip.

These are small goals that will can make my day to day life more rewarding, and motivate me to seize the day when my alarm goes off.  It's a nice change from the daily grind of gym-class-meetings-study-internets.  

If you have any ideas for some motivational activities, leave me a comment!

And shout out to Dan Howell for being awesome.  Here is the video that inspired this post:

How to Get Out of Bed 

(These will open in a new window if you wanna continue reading!)

And here's a few other interesting videos from him that got me thinking about life.

The Meaning of Life

Existential Crisis

(Warning: PG-13 for some language)

And with that, I'm gonna turn off my computer for a while and read a few pages of Anna Karenina.  

Hoping your days are filled with excitement,

Shelly

Why do we love celebrities?

Today's fun fact:  My favorite movie is Pirates of the Caribbean.  

Let's do a little activity.  First, name 5 winners of the Nobel Prize in Medicine.  Got it?  Maybe?  No googling!  Ok.  Now name 15 actors.  Next, how about your state representatives and senators?  And for the last category, list 15 singers.

How did you do?  I'm guessing that you aced the actors and singers, and could've gotten way more than just 15 of each.  And you maybe got 1 Nobel laureate and possibly your district representative and a senator for good measure?  

I recently did an activity like this during one of my organization meetings at school, and I completely failed on any category that wasn't pop culture related.  At first I blamed myself for being totally ignorant about my government or important scientists.  And while I am definitely responsible for my own ignorance, I also think there is another culprit.  Check out any website like Yahoo, which has news stories on the main page.  Other than the how-to cooking articles and heartwarming stories, every article is about a current movie being made, or what Leonardo DiCaprio eats for breakfast, or how many people watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, or who is performing at the Grammys.  And this really made me think about who we hold high in our society and who gets virtually ignored.  

Now, there's nothing wrong with enjoying your favorite actors on the big screen or learning every fact about the latest British boy band.  I am totally guilty of this.  But the thing that people tend to forget is that these famous people are just people.  Robert Downey Jr. isn't actually Iron Man, sad as it is to think about.  He's a person whose job is to act in movies.  Same goes for singers.  They provide entertainment for us with their music.  If they weren't idolized as they are, they could have a second job as an elementary school teacher or something.